Confessions of a Chronic Overthinker

I also found myself dreading leaving the house because of all the things that could go wrong while I was out. I picked my kids up from school every day and I had to do all of these steps before I left. I would sometimes get out the door, then start questioning if I had done everything "correctly", and rush back inside to start over and double check. I'm embarrassed to admit that a few times this made me late to pick up my kids. 

There was a time when myself, my husband and kids drove Downtown to go to this place where you can play any board game imaginable. It was cold and we all got ready, hopped in the car, drove all the way Downtown, parked the car and this rush of anxiety came over me as we were entering because I had forgotten to check the stove. At that time my husband had become accustomed to also checking knobs, outlets and the stove to help us get out the door faster and ease some of my anxiety. I started to sob after we walked in the door because I, myself had not check the knobs on the gas stove and we had to go back. I felt terrible, for my kids and my husband. I was so angry at myself cause why the fuck did I feel the urge to "have to" do all this extra shit just to leave the damn house?

These days, I’m working on letting go a little—key word working. I still double-check things now and then, but I’ve realized that predicting every possible catastrophe doesn’t keep the bad stuff away; it just makes me too tired to deal with it when it does. So here’s to finding some peace in the chaos and accepting that sometimes, it’s okay to let the stove just...be off without staring at it for ten minutes. Baby steps, right?